https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-want-to-gaslight/answer/Simon-Chatzigiannis
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-recover-from-being-gaslighted-for-a-long-time/answer/Nanci-Haehnel-1
Are gaslighters aware they are gaslighting? If so, how do they justify this action to themselves?
https://www.quora.com/Are-gaslighters-aware-they-are-gaslighting-If-so-how-do-they-justify-this-action-to-themselves/answer/Kayla-Feeney-4
Why is “gaslighting”, manipulating a person's memory, so disturbing?
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-gaslighting-manipulating-a-persons-memory-so-disturbing/answers/71809865
Why is “gaslighting”, manipulating a person's memory, so disturbing?
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-gaslighting-manipulating-a-persons-memory-so-disturbing/answers/71809865
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-politely-stop-someone-s-gaslighting/answer/Pam-Bergner
https://www.quora.com/What-is-gaslighting-1/answer/Susan-Bertolino
What are some characteristics of gaslighting?
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-characteristics-of-gaslighting/answer/Dale-Charmer
https://www.quora.com/How-is-gaslighting-different-from-gang-stalking/answer/Andy-Melina
I wrote an answer previously about “signs of being gaslighted”. I do believe as someone mentioned earlier that many things are happening simultaneously so it’s more difficult to talk in terms of “stages”. I’m not a psychologist but I can tell you what I experienced:
Confusion. Remember one thing- Gaslighting is crazy making. They are literally trying to get you to question your own reality. It sounds insidious because it is. If I can make you question facts, then I can make you believe anything. Memories are fragile things, particularly if they are being treated as lies by someone you love and who was there. The number one goal of a gaslighting is to confuse you. until you really can’t remember the details and you don’t trust your own judgement or memory.
Exhaustion: I didn’t mention it before but it is impossible to keep up with this kind of mindfuckery. They will exhaust you physically and mentally until they break you down. They will not only attack you, they will bombard you. You were the psycho. You were the crazy one. They never said that. They never did anything wrong. You were at fault.. this is all in your head. You won’t believe your own eyes by the end of it and even when you are sure you are right you might still give in because it’s just too hard to keep going on and on about it. My ex saw an email from a male Facebook friend of mine that read “hola Bella” I swear to you that’s all it said and that it is the only message like that from him or anyone else. My narc made very little of it when he saw it initially. But boy did he use it to torture me once I had caught him cheating on me. And he cheated on me several times so every single time the story would become even more grossly exaggerated. Until when I continued to question him on other women and other suspicious behaviors he’d bring up that email and by the end of it instead of explaining his own shit he’d just turn it around- he literally told me that my emails were full of naked pictures and dedicated songs and I had been cheating on him the whole time and he’s seen the proof! Of course this was a complete and sick lie but I just couldn’t keep defending myself from this false accusation! It made me sad, and hurt, and so damn tired. You finally throw your hands up and let them win.
Love/Hate: Par for the course with narcs, they will give you just enough to keep you holding on. When they lovebomb it is so perfect. They’ve read you carefully and they know what you need to hear, and they’ll tell it to you. And then they’ll replace that with the coldest and cruelest of discards. You won’t know what hit you, my dear. One minute you are their true love and the next you are a whore and a cunt. this will run throughout your relationship. You’ll never be able to determine what is truth and what is lies until finally you’ll realize it’s ALL lies.
This is not a complete list but I hope it will help.
Remember that anyone who is trying to play with your mind is also playing with your heart. They won’t ever change and it’s not your fault.
You don’t deserve this pain and mental agony. Get free!
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-stages-of-gaslighting
